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Love, Pride, and Money: How Is It Affecting Your Relationship?

I am well aware that women make less than men, even when they have the exact same job title, but I just can't seem to get used to it. My fiance and I don't have the same job title nor do we work in the same industry, so I understand that there will be some differences in our salaries. But our salary difference has become one of the most difficult aspects of our relationship. I make five times less than my fiance, and as a wannabe independent woman with high ambitions, it drives me absolutely nuts.

He's not a millionaire, so it's not like I'm trying to match his salary with unrealistic expectations. I'm not even trying to match his salary at all, I'd just like to make somewhere close to it. He doesn't mind paying for things, but when we get into a spat about finances, pride overcomes me and I don't want him to pay for anything anymore. I'll start to feel guilty about accpeting gifts or dinners, so I'll refuse them for a few days or weeks or until I forget about the argument we had about finances, whichever is first. It's not that I'm unappreciative of everything he does for me. Sometimes, I'm overwhelmed to be blessed with such an outstanding man. But I feel like I should be able to pay for everything myself, and I feel guilty that I can't. 

I'm also looking for a better paying job, but I'm not going to just settle with anything, which doesn't make him happy at all. I don't just want a "job," I want a career. I need to be in a place where there's a constant challenge, where I can get promoted, and feel successful. But I also want to enjoy it. It's not just about making money, it's also about doing something I'm good at and something that I love. So I'm praying about everything and applying for all kinds of jobs (even on the side unpaid writing gigs, just to gain experience), but waiting on an entry level job to the perfect career path and not having financial stability in the meantime is not doing any good for our relationship. 

If you're going through the same thing or if you have any advice to offer on the matter (or a possible job lead to soften the issues at hand), let me know in the comments below. And in the meantime, tell me:

How does love, pride, and/or money affect your relationship?

Posted on June 27, 2012 at 9:00AM | Permalink | 0 Comments


posted by
6/27/12

We don't have a problem with finances since I tend to leave the big decisions up to him because he's better about it them me.


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